Confinement and Refinement ~

Sweat courses down

relentlessly

My back, arms, my face

I’ve fought against this prison

This God-forsaken place

This life- this body-

These maladies—

Leave scarcely any trace

 Of who and where the

I that was-

I’ve simply

been erased.

Life’s current doesn’t wait for me

others pass me by

While I confined, 

infirm- alone-

Paste on my smile, wave 

sigh~

Inwardly I cringe and sob

I flail against the walls

I scream and

no one hears me 

And then, to God

I cry* 

Then Light

  shines ovr’ the many truths

      More precious yea, than life

Each one I’ve gathered,

     ~Jewel-like~

by hardship chiseled fine*

They glisten

 with each teardrop-

a rainbow! back to me

a promise of redemption*

one day I shall be free-

For now, within my chamber

A comforter resides

I merely need remember

 in Him-  

I can confide

And though the heartache sting

   Though the body fail

  The greater truths are 

                    mine  to hold*

           For with Him

I have travailed

And when in time ,Time ceases

   And each knee bows in Heaven,

Before my God, my comforter,

My Savior and my friend

I shall place my jewels, each one-

    Meekly at his feet

       Add gladly give my freedom

    *back to Him again*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I chaffed again, at my position in life- here. always here. Medications that make me sleep half the day away- or suffer more and more seizures- It's days like these that doing a bit of sketching and random poetry soothe my soul and help me to remember that there is a purpose given under heaven for every season.  There is a purpose greater than my happiness or well-being, or comfort- God's purpose* and I surely want to be a part of that!  

If you visit, please just say hi with the comment option, blogs are so blogish- without others sharing too.  Maybe you have a suggestion, a poem of your own- or whatever! 

From somewhere over the rainbow, 

zoe 

ps. I have NO IDEA how this thing changes sizes of font on you randomly- so - take it for what it is- a learning experience!  (Hints welcome, of course!) 

Sometimes, when Everthing goes wrong- you jes gotta do what feels right. 

HAVE FUN*

 

IN the MOOD

I’m in the mood for pampering  

I crave some exotic

delicacy~

Truffles shipped

from Germany~

Champagne in goblets

etched with golden filigree

Oh,

I’m in the mood for pampering 

Yes, I’m in the mood for pampering

Maybe an extraordinary

shopping spree ~

Christmas lights out of season-

Impracticable Dazzling, for no logical reason-

Oh,

I’m in the mood 

for pampering. 

Yes, I’m in the mood for pampering

Catch me sliver of that

magic moon- beam-

I’ll hold its fire, electricity- that could kill somebody

but I've got a inklin it will sure suit me-

Oh,

I’m in the mood 

for pampering. 

Yes,

I’m in the mood for pampering.

I’ll be shimmering

with moondust from  head to feet - what's wrong with you-You ain’t heard a word I’m sayin’- (achem) ~

Yes, I’m in the mood for pampering...

I’ll howl the whole night and have enough left to sing

To you~

Swooning, syncopated -straight from my heart –

A song that makes Cupid’s arrow look

like a plastic dart.

Oh, 

I’m in the mood for pampering.

“What’s that? You’re out for the evening?”

Well jes’ go on and you’ll see-

You gon’ miss out-

Cuz ~

I’m in the mood for pampering

And I’ll get what I want -without a doubt-

No simple hesitation gonna turn me about-

Seetin abeedoo bawee badoo  bop bop do ahhh~

No,

I’m in the mood

For pampering~

pampering~

pampering~  

Beauty from the grave~

Rom. 116:20 “…since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made…” 

Lucky for me, (since I live in the forest)  God’s voice is never clearer than when I’m surrounded by his creation- with each moss covered boulder, each sunset and sunrise, each bubbling brook and blossoming flower, he really is  made KNOWN .  And that saying, “to know Him is to love Him” is more than true when it comes to the Rainbow maker! 

(This picture is made with colored pencils, quite fun:) 

Shalom,  zoe

Seedling

I can hold on to my dreams

By  a thread.

Like a kite

I can fly on a breeze.

I am weightless -

 a single seed~

I can float

on the breath of Heaven

 alone~

 

On the precipice

of danger

Through a sky

shot through with lightening

With wings relentless

Still in flight

I will soar beyond

each foe

 

The sunrise bids my soul

brisk breezes thrill

Faith defiant

surges still

from where I have laid

and beauty*

from the grave unfolds~

 

Shesure is a liability

(I'm having 12+ seizures in a day~
definitely the storm before
another rainbow* ) And I share these little journal entries as an added way of communicating just how fragmented, how degraded and out of sync with life one feels having them. Besides, it makes for soMe fun* If you're going to suffer such humiliations, you might as well find a way to lighten the burden of isolation they bring.

SHESURE IS A LIABILITY

It shakes me rag doll lifeless
Squeezing till I gag and spit
Writhing with my rival
camouflaged within

Imminent oblivion
envelops my fatigue
and lay I sheathed in twilight
silent, numb reprieve.

Time floats by my half-lid eye
In a semi-conscious fugue
Through flickering gray and blur
I reach a claw-like hand to you

Frothing monochromatic speech
Contorted wooden legs
Crippled lame and twisted
Disfigured I thus beg

I strive to tell you plainly
How much it means to me
Just to have you near me
When I’m suffering~

Merciless, the saga then reappears
like a trilogy of horrors
a second, third and fourth time
I am flailing on the floor

With newborn twists and oddities
Doctors throw up their hands
Except the Great Physician
* In whose hands I am *