Sweat courses down
relentlessly
My back, arms, my face
I’ve fought against this prison
This God-forsaken place
This life- this body-
These maladies—
Leave scarcely any trace
Of who and where the
I that was-
I’ve simply
been erased.
Life’s current doesn’t wait for me
others pass me by
While I confined,
infirm- alone-
Paste on my smile, wave
sigh~
Inwardly I cringe and sob
I flail against the walls
I scream and
no one hears me
And then, to God
I cry*
Then Light
shines ovr’ the many truths
More precious yea, than life
Each one I’ve gathered,
~Jewel-like~
by hardship chiseled fine*
They glisten
with each teardrop-
a rainbow! back to me
a promise of redemption*
one day I shall be free-
For now, within my chamber
A comforter resides
I merely need remember
in Him-
I can confide
And though the heartache sting
Though the body fail
The greater truths are
mine to hold*
For with Him
I have travailed
And when in time ,Time ceases
And each knee bows in Heaven,
Before my God, my comforter,
My Savior and my friend
I shall place my jewels, each one-
Meekly at his feet
Add gladly give my freedom
*back to Him again*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I chaffed again, at my position in life- here. always here. Medications that make me sleep half the day away- or suffer more and more seizures- It's days like these that doing a bit of sketching and random poetry soothe my soul and help me to remember that there is a purpose given under heaven for every season. There is a purpose greater than my happiness or well-being, or comfort- God's purpose* and I surely want to be a part of that!
If you visit, please just say hi with the comment option, blogs are so blogish- without others sharing too. Maybe you have a suggestion, a poem of your own- or whatever!
From somewhere over the rainbow,
zoe
ps. I have NO IDEA how this thing changes sizes of font on you randomly- so - take it for what it is- a learning experience! (Hints welcome, of course!)
Hi Zoe! Just got a moment to stop by, I really love the poem. How aptly you described that futile-feeling loneliness that comes with the sort of disability and challenges you face each day. And with the victory of the ending, it is very powerful!!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say hi!
love and hugs
Virginia
Hi, I understand well your feeling of loneliness and of being erased. It is time to make our life and our identities anew. I've learned that this is a time of extreme testing of our comfort with ourselves. Don't know about you Zoe. I go floating around in each day and notice that when I allow myself to reach to far, I don't like myself. Have learned to alternate between rest and light work and writing. My nephew wrote to me on my most recent posting on carepages. He said to laugh each day, think deeply, and be moved to tears each day. Could be joy or sadness. Any day with all those is a complete day. I was moved to tears by the beautiful poem you wrote here. The sadness and pain in the ephemeral and the joy in the eternal. You keep it up my friend. I'm praying that all this negative stuff doesn't pull us down and that we stay on the thankful and positive side. Your friend Frank
ReplyDeleteThank you my friends,
ReplyDeletemy dear, dear friends-
I feel so lost without a computer even to communicate regualarly with you all~ my world grows smaller and smaller. And I struggle to hold on to reality~ between the seizures~ and in the isolation~ if God should use this season for good it will be enough. I must remember that I may not always be able to See the good- now- later, or even until that last and glorious day*
Having friends like you all sure helps though*!! In a BIG WAY! I bless you in the name of the Lord Jesus, that you might have your cup running over with good things this day.
From somewhere over the rainbow~
zoe